Come, come dear children!
Please sit and listen,
While I tell you a story
Of upmost sadness and glory!
Childrenplease settle down
And don't make a sound!
Hear the tale of a boy who couldn't be found
Because he cried, "Trollface!"
All around his house, in the countryside, and up into space!
Ever since the day Billy was born,
His face had been long and forlorn.
Everyone, he told himself, was out to get him.
Everyone put themselves out on a whim
With a big, nasty grin.
They all wanted to test his ignorance and make his face dim,
Make him less glad
And ask, "You mad?"
Yes, this was Billy's mindset,
And nothing could change it.
His mother, who was greatly distressed,
Would ask her son to get dressed.
Billy would scream, "I know how to dress myself, Trollface!"
And promptly break a vase.
Billy would be walking to school,
And the crossing guard would stop the traffic pool.
Halfway across the street,
Billy would stomp his feet
And turn around with disgrace,
Yelling, "I can stop cars by myself, Trollface!"
Or Billy would be in class,
And the prettiest girl, her eyes shining like glass,
Would ask Billy to kindly take her homework
Up to the teacher's desk.
Billy would ponder for a moment, biting his lip.
Then, he'd stick out his tongue and deny the whole trip,
Saying, "You're just trying to get me to do stuff for you, you little Trollface!"
Even worse, Billy would be walking back to his house,
His feet as quiet as a mouse,
And a homeless man would grab his hand,
Pleading for dimes and nickels to buy some spam.
There was nothing good left in Billy's heart to trace
When he would shriek, "Are you insulting my allowance, Trollface?"
This went on for years and years.
Many a tear was shed for Billy's lost soul,
The one his parents held near and dear.
One day, on a fine summer's eve,
Billy went up to his room to leave
His mother's company for a while.
A stuffed animal smiled
At him from across the room.
Billy felt a wave of gloom.
"What are you smiling at, Trollface?"
The animal's grin grew at an incredible pace.
"Why does it bother you, Billy? Are you mad?"
A fire kindled in Billy's stomach, enough to bother him just a tad.
"So what if I'm mad?
Why should you be glad?"
You've been acting quite silly."
"How am I silly, Trollface?"
"Ah-ha! That's exactly why!"
"What, Trollface?" Billy wanted to make the animal cry.
"You've called everyone a Trollface,
Even though they just wanted something to taste,
Or they just want you to do something!
You see, Billy,
Since you've been so ignorant,
I'll show you what a real Trollface can do!"
The animal swooped up into the room
Looming over Billy.
Billy cried Trollface
Until there was no space
Left in his feeble lungs.
Everyone heard his cries,
And never replied.